Tag Archives: science

We Are Not Equal

Angie brought to my attention that Oakley makes a line of eye wear specifically for Asians. If you look at most of the features, they are noting that Asians are shovel faces. What’s that mean? Asian noses look like they’ve been met with the flat side of a shovel. Then you take a look at what they call the stems. At first you might be insulted that Oakley is saying that Asians have fat heads, but this is not the case. Asian heads are simply bursting with things like math and martial arts. That is why they are larger than our non Asian counterparts.

While Oakley appears to be going out of their way for their Asian customers, I’ll tell you that it’s a fair trade off. They’re cost of product is lower because they don’t have to use as much lens surface area in their glasses. The slant-eyed people can’t make full use of the lenses anyway. Don’t believe me? Think back to Biology in high school.

Every Asian kid in biology has asked, “How come everyone else’s microscope has a wider view angle than mine? I think my microscope is broken. Also, I think I had a bad specimen. I had all these worms moving around on my slide.”

microscope.jpg

Can anyone guess what happened here?

I’m Straight. I’m Gay. I’m Straight Again.

I ran across this article on how scientists are now able to turn on homosexual behavior and turn it off. Here’s a clip from the article.

A new study finds that both drugs and genetic manipulation can turn the homosexual behavior of fruit flies on and off within a matter of hours.”

Does anyone else realize what a gold mine this is here if they can apply this to humans? Think with me for a moment. You can pop a pill and you’re gay. It’s perfect for housekeeping. You’d have the most immaculately clean house, and well decorated as well. Before watching The Notebook or Waitress, go ahead and pop a pill and you can have yourself a fabulous movie watching experience. I’m investing in whatever pharmaceutical company makes this drug.

Like a lot of medications, these pills should come with warnings though. Instead of the standard warning about operating heavy machinery, there can be a warning about shopping while using these pills or using the pills before your buddy’s Super Bowl party. Imagine going shopping and coming back with shirts with Elton John’s face plastered across the chest or commenting, “I sure like his tight end.”

With any drug there are risks and side effects. As a straight man, you just don’t want to be the guy that gets stuck in gay form for too long. It’s like the guy, who has the 36-hour erection caused by Viagra. Luck would probably have it that the guy, who gets stuck in homosexual form will be that way before he meets his future in laws in an attempt to groom himself nicely for the first impression.

Science, you have brought us many great things and now this. I applaud you.