Tag Archives: ring

This is my wife. That is all.

She buys stuff like this, and does stuff like that.

Visit her website here.

The Building Blocks of Marriage

I ran across this wedding ring a while back. While I think the flat edges would cut up my hand, I still think it’s pretty cool. I’m not sure I’d get a gold one, but if someone would start making these in plastic with rounded edges, I might wear one.

I could get one for Michelle and she could put one of these guys on the ring. Then she would always have me with her.

Who says humans lack instinct?

Shark Week is here! The shows always talk about sharks using instinct for survival. Top predators are always fascinating, already born with all the tools necessary to hunt. I used to wonder why humans are so lacking in instincts like this. Why do you have to teach them everything? How come they’re not hard-wired from birth to do anything? I found out this weekend that the females of the human species definitely have some of these killer instincts.

It’s no secret that Michelle and I have been looking at rings. I even told my parents, because they know a heck of a lot more about diamonds *cough*cubic zirconia*cough* than I do. Still after a trip to the jewelry district Downtown, I came home to ask my parents some questions. My mom asked, “Can I wear my dress that Mike wouldn’t let me wear to his wedding?”

Hold up for a moment! We’re not getting married! We’re getting a ring! We haven’t even gotten it yet! What makes you think you can start planning your attire for a wedding?

Just so we’re clear that it’s not mothers only, let’s take a look at Michelle. She has just recently stepped down from her full time position as and editor. She is a freelance writer. (Hire her to ease the strain on my wallet.) I bought her a Moleskine notebook for her to write down all her ideas for writing pieces. Instead it is filled with sketches of wedding dresses, decorations, and notes about things she wants at her wedding. I believe I even saw the word “fun” written in there.

Behold the apex predator! Like sharks that are thrown into a frenzy with a single drop of water, females of the human species are thrown into the same frenzy at the sight or even mention of a ring. I’m pretty much doomed, but I take solace in knowing about my demise in advance. I’m going to have a fun wedding and my mom will be wearing some dress that my brother already vetoed for his own wedding.

Pandora’s Little Blue Box

I recently came to the realization that I am not afraid of moving forward in my relationship. I told Michelle to figure out what kind of ring style she would like. This was two and a half weeks ago.

Since then she has posted this and this. I’ve created a monster. There is a marked difference between not being ready to move forward and racing forward. I am not looking to be the Michael Phelps of relationships. When she came back from Hawaii and said, “I planned out the whole wedding,” Not even one Star Wars themed idea. Not one. She even contemplated going to a wedding dress sample sale this weekend.

I’ve pulled the reigns on this thing before the horse gets in front of the cart. The last thing I want is to propose and have Michelle call a wedding planner first. “Green light! It’s a go! Okay, I have to go call my parents now.”

Opening Pandora’s Box. Pandora = Tiffany?

I’m off to Vegas later today, where what happens there stays there…unless you need a prescription to get rid of it. We’re doing the bachelor party thing for my buddy, and it should be a blast. I think everything is fair game as long as I don’t get married. How mad would Michelle be after waiting almost six years if I just went and married an escort named Heather Graham?

In order to distract Michelle’s mind from the obvious debauchery I will be participating in, I told her she can go look at rings this weekend. Yup. There must be a million questions racing through your heads right now. Does this mean-? When will you-? Relax, people. It’s going to happen sometime, and I’m finally realizing it’s not a big deal until people say something. There’s good news in all this, but I’ll let Michelle share that sometime. It’s pretty funny…to me anyway. So while she’s looking at shiny things, thinking I’m in Napa Valley, I will be shoulder deep in strippers.

Back to the matter at hand. If you didn’t get the reference to the Heather Graham escort or Napa Valley, you need to see The Hangover, which I am calling this generation’s Porky’s. Watch that film and you’ll know what our weekend will be like, except with a Panda and not a Tiger.

Peace out, suckers!