Tag Archives: pee

Why is diaper technology so archaic?

Lately I’ve been getting horror stories about diapers leaking or poop explosions. Why aren’t we using technology to make baby waste removal easier? It’s ridiculous to think that the best way to see if my baby has soiled her diaper is to take a big whiff of her bottom.

I started looking into it. The technology already exists! It just needs to be reapplied.

This is the Koubachi Wi-Fi Plant Sensor. It’s a probe that is tied to your wireless network and can be read via browser or iPhone. It checks your plants for sunlight, temperature, moisture, and fertilizer. If we can monitor these things, it’s just a matter of reversing the reporting. We can get the sensor to tell us when the diaper has been watered or fertilized. Temperature is another double check for a soiled diaper. If the light sensor goes off, it means your baby has torn off the diaper and is running around naked.┬áSure we’d have to reengineer the design to make it less like an anal probe, but isn’t this more important than monitoring plants?

I’m also currently thinking up ways to handle the removal of waste. It involves a shop vac modification and a giant garbage bag. Once you suck away the poop, you can take the shop vac outside, put it in reverse, and you’ll have a lush garden blooming in no time.

I just need an engineer and programmer, and then it’s time to hit up Kickstarter for some funding. Who wants in on this project?

Pee as in Plant…on Plant?

I sent an email with this link to my mom yesterday and added, “I’ll get right on it!” Here is my mom’s reply to me.

Great Grandma used to have Allen (as a kid) pee on her veggies she was growing. Young children have a bit more dilute urine, if they’re drinking. Remember, it’s the urine of healthy folks.

You can also drink your urine if you’re in the dessert and going to die of thirst. It’s supposed to be sterile.

It’s true. You never stop learning from your parents no matter how old you get. So if you ever see me peeing in public, don’t stop me. I’m really just doing my duties to keep the earth green. If you try and stop me, it means you hate the earth.