Tag Archives: mom

My Mom’s the Best

Last week we had an appliance delivered to our home during a work day. Since my  mom is retired now, she graciously offered to wait for the delivery. Not only did she wait and come back after the delivery company missed their delivery timetable by an hour and a half, but she also made dinner and cleaned our house. Below are her notes.

Instructions on how to finish her almost-ready-to-eat meal. That’s right. She made a meal just for us that she had no intention of eating herself. I should have more week day deliveries.

Water the lawn? Please, Mom. I’m not a child. That was taken care of the very next morning…because it rained.

Lunch at Work

I work with my dad, and sometimes my mom will send a sandwich to the office for me. This morning I had this email.

I sent a sandwich for you with dad. Ask him to save it for you in frig if you’re not in the office today, or he’s liable to give it away – 3 pieces of bacon!!

My mom’s the best.

Not a Man. Think I’m Okay With It

Mom: I have a new batch of spaghetti sauce on the stove.  Do you want me to cook some spaghetti for you, or do you want to make it yourself?

Man, boiling noodles is hard, but I think this is my sign that I need to move out. The good news is that I will be auctioning off my spot. It’s a pretty good gig. Place your bids in the comments.

Sick at Home

I went to work yesterday feeling a little stuffy. As the day progressed, I got worse and worse. I stayed home today to recover. With my trusty Nintendo DS by my side, I am able to pass the time without having to get out of bed. Everyone should get one of these bad boys. Just ask my mom.

She got one for Christmas from my brother and me. We got it for her, because she is recently retired and wanted her to have some puzzle games to keep her mind sharp. So far, she has stayed up late every night. She said she went to an unusually long funeral service, which was in Mandarin with no translator. Since she was sitting in the back, she whipped out the DS. My mom is a gamer. Awesome.

Always Good to Be Wanted

I was lying in bed and overheard this conversation while my mom was on the phone with my brother, apparently discussing his upcoming wedding guest list.

Mom: “No, they’re on your list. You take them.”
*Mike Responds*
Mom: “You told me they were on your list. They’re not on my list. I’m not inviting them.”
*Mike Responds*
Mom: “You told me that Matt and Michelle were going to be on your list. If you don’t invite them, they’re not coming.”

What the hell?! I wasn’t invited? I’m in the wedding, or at least I thought I was asked to be in the wedding. Perhaps this is some cruel joke they’re playing on me. It’s quite elaborate if it is, as I have a tuxedo to get fitted and everything. I don’t even care. Worst case scenario, I get to get all dressed up, take the wedding limo for a spin, and hit up Berkeley for some Top Dog and Naan-N-Curry.

Pee as in Plant…on Plant?

I sent an email with this link to my mom yesterday and added, “I’ll get right on it!” Here is my mom’s reply to me.

Great Grandma used to have Allen (as a kid) pee on her veggies she was growing. Young children have a bit more dilute urine, if they’re drinking. Remember, it’s the urine of healthy folks.

You can also drink your urine if you’re in the dessert and going to die of thirst. It’s supposed to be sterile.

It’s true. You never stop learning from your parents no matter how old you get. So if you ever see me peeing in public, don’t stop me. I’m really just doing my duties to keep the earth green. If you try and stop me, it means you hate the earth.