Tag Archives: guitar

I should be an album cover for The White Stripes.

I used to play guitar, but I gave it up shortly after I started dating Michelle. She’s my Yoko Ono! Actually I just needed to play guitar long enough to sing a few love songs and snag her. Then I packed the guitar away for good.


Here I am in all my musical glory. This was a couple days after I skipped work and went to pierce my brow on a whim.


Here I am in silhouette form, done with some simple cutouts and layer fills. Come on, Jack and Meg White. Call me.

YouTube Killed the MTV Star

I have spent hours on end clicking from video to video. What I’ve found myself looking at lately are musicians. I’m not talking about the ones that are discovered and known all over the world. I like watching individuals with their instruments, sitting in their bedrooms in front of their webcams.

Michelle sent me this link. Who wouldn’t love a song about Mario Kart? He doesn’t just sing about video games. He has some original music and even some covers of popular songs.

Speaking of covers, this ukelele cover of Weezer’s Keep Fishin’ was absolutely brilliant. This girl is an absolute weirdo and really, those are the best people on the Internet. Be sure to check out her Kanye West cover too.

This one isn’t a music video, but it’s an incredible concept. It’s a call to musicians all over the Internet for video tryouts for what I hope will be an incredible musical event.

The brilliance of YouTube is that anyone can be a star. Who knows? You may even see me singing off key one day, dragging my feet backwards across the carpet, thinking I can do the moonwalk. Don’t hold your breath on that one.

A True Rock Star

All of you have heard of The Offspring. Even if you’re not into the genre of music, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the song, Pretty Fly for a White Guy. Their lead singer is known as Dexter Holland. He is known for his characteristically unique vocals. He earned the nickname for being incredibly smart, and his track record proves it. He was valedictorian of his high school. He received a Bachelor’s degree in biology and a Master’s degree in molecular biology, both from USC. He declined the pursuit of a PhD in order to work with his band. How awesome is that?

To top it off, the guy has his own hot sauce line. It’s kind of a strange business to get into, especially since there are thousands of hot sauces to choose from on the shelves. You can try Gringo Bandito at any Wahoo’s Fish Taco or you can buy it at Albertsons. I love how all the testimonials are from rock stars.

“It’s like the meth trailers in Riverside started cooking up hot sauce. Highly addictive.”

Like Being a Rock Star, But Without the STDs

Take that, you doubters! First I sang my way to a 99% score on Radiohead’s Creep. Then I played drums and sang to the same song without getting booed off the stage. Finally, Michelle and I accomplished what everyone told us would be impossible. We beat a song on medium level in Rock Band. Despite overwhelming odds against us (Michelle hurt her hand drumming), we triumphed in the rock star arena. I feel like I could play an actual instrument on stage in front of thousands of people, but then I remember this is just a video game. Believing that I am a true rock star is as much of a twisted dream as people that play World of Warcraft thinking they can be part of an army of mythical creatures, roaming virtual worlds.

Still, I have a new found love for Rock Band. Despite the awkwardness of not being like the real instruments, it’s a game that pumps you up so much that it’s really recommended that you don’t play within thirty minutes of your bed time. Showers are also recommended after intense rock sessions. With some practice my skills will increase, and I will say to all those people who doubt me, “Whatever, man. I’ll kick your ass…online.”

Screw Guitar Hero. Guitar Rising!

I’m tired of people commenting to me, “I thought you’d be better at Guitar Hero since you know how to play the real guitar.” What the hell? What if were to say the opposite? “Wow. You’re really good at Counterstrike. Have you ever thought of a career as a sniper in an anti-terrorism unit?” It’s nothing like a real guitar. It’s nothing like real music. It throws your rhythm of quite a bit when you don’t play to the beat. I’m pretty sure you can’t play a real song with half the notes too. Well fear no more, guitarded minions. There is Guitar Rising! I better go get my electric guitar back from my brother. I’m sure I could play with an acoustic, but that’s just not cool.