Tag Archives: girls

A Few Quotes on Makeup

“You shouldn’t be wearing makeup. Makeup is for the ugly girls to even the playing field.”

“If the barn needs painting, you paint it. Just don’t build the barn out of paint.”

Valentine’s Day Advice

Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her…Listen to me, kid. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.

Fortunately Michelle and I live in the day an age of power locks. We make it work.

This Beats the Chicktionary

This is much more comprehensive than the Chicktionary. The little black book has gotten an upgrade. Behold the Chickipedia!