Tag Archives: football

My NCAA Football Garbage List

After watching over five hours of NCAA Football yesterday with my dad and friends, I’d like to share a few pearls of wisdom that no one cares about but me.

I don’t like USC, mostly because I am a Bruin. Nothing more needs to be said about that.

I hate Notre Dame. If they are playing, I want them to lose even if they’re playing USC. Notre Dame has an unfair advantage of a television contract with NBC. While that money can’t be spent directly on the players, their program can hire better coaching staff, have more state of the art training equipment, and give non monetary perks to the players like nicer dorms and textbooks. Until NBC stops its contact with Notre Dame, they will always be the team I want to lose. Fortunately their head coach sucks balls and hasn’t done shit with their program despite their monetary advantage.

Another thing that needs to be done is an academic standard needs to be set for student athletes or they need to stop being called students. I think it’s pathetic that any university would allow an individual onto the campus for a primary reason other than academics. Universities like Stanford and UCLA are at the top of the list of schools with high academic standards for their athletes. If you can’t keep the grades up, maybe you should keep your nose in the textbooks a little more and less in the playbook.

I can speak specifically for UCLA, because I stay on top of their recruiting. Take a look across the country and you’ll find kids who wanted to be Bruins, but UCLA turned them down for academic reasons. Just this season Tennessee’s interim president said, “When we lost to UCLA, we lost to a better academic institution, too.” Academics should never be an issue for athletes. Universities should be striving to give kids the best possible education. I guarantee you schools like Alabama, Florida, and Texas don’t turn down good athletes for academic reasons, which is absolutely a shame. They’re not doing any favors for the majority of the athletes who won’t make careers out of football.

The standard wouldn’t even have to be stringent. I understand that alumni don’t necessarily care about the genetic research being done on campus. They want to see athletic competitions, but would a minimum of two classes with a passing term average be too much to ask? This way each university could set it’s standards as to what is passing, but the athletes would be held to the same standards as any other student. If a university doesn’t care to set academics as its priority then that’s their choice, but they won’t last very long without students wanting to attend.

It’s time we level the playing field, while at the same time raising the bar for academic standards for our student athletes. It might save us from stupidity in the NFL with such gems as Michael Vick, Plaxico Buress, and Ray Lewis.

We Need a Football Team


It’s time we get rid of Raider Nation. Although it’s a pretty good platform to run on for mayor. “I’m going to bring the Raiders back to Los Angeles!”

Instant victory.

Sportsmanship is Lame

The big UCLA vs. USC game will be taking place this Saturday. Both teams will be making the cross town trek to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, but UCLA is the home team.

In an effort to bring back an old tradition, USC coach Pete Carroll requested that the Trojans be allowed to wear their home jerseys so that both teams could be wearing their home team jerseys. Unfortunately for Carroll and his team, this will cost them a one timeout penalty to do this. They have opted to take this penalty and the Bruins coach, Rick Neuheisel, has offered to burn a timeout in an act of sportsmanship.

Are you kidding me? If UCLA wanted an even playing field, they should have USC burn all of their timeouts, play the game with nine players, and have all their receivers wear mittens. (You know, like gloves but with no individual fingers.)

UCLA’s slim chances of winning aside, it’s absolutely ridiculous that USC is allowed to break a rule to the game, just for tradition. It’s not like they have been wearing their home jerseys up until this season. They changed the rule in the 80’s! If they want to go back to tradition, they should go back to the goofy leather helmets and bring in cheerleaders with skirts down to their ankles.

I’m just pissed off, because the only excuse I can come up with for the pitiful play that will occur on Saturday is, “We’re more of a basketball school. Just think John Wooden.”

Just Like Poker

You have to live life like you play poker. Sometimes the chips are up, and sometimes the chips are down.

Chips for winners. That middle bag looks like a regular bag of tortilla chips.

Chips for losers. Come on, UCLA. Win and then I’ll buy these.

Watching Sports with Women

Yesterday I watched the Super Bowl with Michelle. She did very well, only saying once that it was boring, before the game really got exciting in the last quarter. One of my favorite things to do with people that don’t know the rules of the game is to explain the rules incorrectly with made up terms. Michelle did not ask many questions though, except for the one about the quarterback’s wristband.


I told her that all quarterbacks are cyborgs with computers implanted into their arms. She wasn’t buying it, but she said, “That would be really cool if that were true!” *Boop Boop Boop*

Although unrelated, I ran across this other image while I was searching for the above image.


UCLA is China Man Friendly

Well, we have Norm Chow working as our offensive coordinator. This might be a slap in the face for USC, but it’s not for Pete Carroll. The two never got along really. So how did UCLA pick up Norm Chow?

He was recently fired from his job with the NFL team, the Tennessee Titans. He wasn’t NFL material, but he has a proven track record for college football. That makes him a good candidate for UCLA’s restructured football program. On top of that, Norm Chow still has a 2-year contract, worth more than 1 million dollars a season. Whatever the difference is between what Chow is owed on the contract and  UCLA pays, the Titan franchise still has to pay. UCLA can pay Chow next to nothing for two years and have him on board. Thanks, Titans!