Tag Archives: family

Everybody is Smarter Than Me

I guess I didn’t need a blog post to make this point. I’m not trying to disprove the fact that pretty much everyone in my family is more accomplished than I am and a lot of them at a younger age, nor make excuses about how being street smart makes up for it.

I have two cousins that are seniors in high school. Both have early acceptance, one to Stanford and one to MIT. The rest of the schools’ replies are still coming in, but it looks bright for them. The one that got into Stanford is top ranked in club soccer, but she chose not to use soccer to get into school. Her grades and SAT scores are good enough to get her into a lot of schools. My cousin that has early acceptance to MIT fences. It sounds kind of nerdy. It gets nerdier, but that’s the way I like it. He is also a Junior Magician at The Magic Castle. That is a pretty impressive accomplishment.

So while I have impressive, talented cousins on both sides of my family and even in my immediate family, I’ve been skipped. Darwin must be in his grave, laughing at me right now.

Always Good to Be Wanted

I was lying in bed and overheard this conversation while my mom was on the phone with my brother, apparently discussing his upcoming wedding guest list.

Mom: “No, they’re on your list. You take them.”
*Mike Responds*
Mom: “You told me they were on your list. They’re not on my list. I’m not inviting them.”
*Mike Responds*
Mom: “You told me that Matt and Michelle were going to be on your list. If you don’t invite them, they’re not coming.”

What the hell?! I wasn’t invited? I’m in the wedding, or at least I thought I was asked to be in the wedding. Perhaps this is some cruel joke they’re playing on me. It’s quite elaborate if it is, as I have a tuxedo to get fitted and everything. I don’t even care. Worst case scenario, I get to get all dressed up, take the wedding limo for a spin, and hit up Berkeley for some Top Dog and Naan-N-Curry.

Another Weekend. This One I Remember.

Another weekend has passed, and tomorrow it’s back to the grindstone. I wasn’t smashed out of my head this weekend, so I remember it. Unfortunately I don’t have a lot of pictures to prove what went on, or what didn’t go on this weekend. I dropped my camera Friday night and it’s out of service. You’ll just have to take my work that there was no gay sex.

Friday was Julieann’s birthday, so Michelle, Alice, and I headed to Blue Velvet to hang out with a bunch of kids that graduated same year we did, but from high school and not college. It was fun to get out to a new place, but at one point Julieann and Christine started getting belligerent and directing their towards me and saying, “Stupid Randall! Who wants to be a doctor anyway?” Women…

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Here are the girls with the birthday girl.

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Here are a set of lights that I thought looked like toasted marshmallows. This was one of the last pictures I took with my camera as I dropped it after leaving the party.

Saturday was fish care day. For the 90% of you that don’t care about this, please skip to the next paragraph. I cleaned up my tanks, and for the first time ever I got pearling from my Java Moss. Pearling is the term used when plants produce oxygen bubbles during the photosynthesis process. It’s supposed to be pretty common in high light fertilized tanks, but this is my low light tank with no fertilizers. Still, it’s a success.

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Those tiny dots are oxygen bubbles. This was taken with my mom’s camera.

Saturday night I headed out again with Michelle and Alice to a house party held by one of Des’ friends. It was a decent sized house, but it had way too many people in it. Before you get to thinking that it was some crazy party, it was definitely not that. These were mostly church folk, probably a hundred of them. It was a wine tasting party with jazz. It’s not really the kind of party that keeps you awake. After two hours of that, we had enough and headed home for the night.

Today was spent helping my dad and my uncle clean out more of my grandma’s stuff. I don’t know what it is about old people, but they like to collect stuff they will never use. Among the things in my grandma’s garage were 10-year old water, 5-year old rice (uncooked but still gross), a baby stroller, clothes from the 60’s (not the cool vintage kind), and rocks (a pain to move). Yet with all the stuff in there, there was not a single thing of value, no old baseball cards, comic books, or records. It really goes to show you that most of us live lives of over indulgence. There’s something to be said about simplicity.

See you online from work, everyone.

Work Weekend

This weekend was spent working to finish up the work I had to do while out of town. I put my nose to the grindstone and even avoided the temptation of playing LAN games. I’m still quite behind in my work unfortunately. Sunday I realized it was a losing battle, so I gave up hope and just took my time, not worrying about deadlines.

This Sunday was my mom’s aunt’s 80th birthday, so we had dinner at Hotel Casa Del Mar. Michelle was lucky enough to get to tag along for a nice dinner.

Private room dinner.

Great sashimi. Salmon was quite good.

My Filet Mignon with mushrooms.

Michelle’s “Poor Man’s Lobster” and Clams

I Need a Time Machine

After cleaning some things out of my grandma’s house, I came to the realization that all old people collect a lot of junk. Then they must sprinkle their junk with thirty years of dust. I ran across nothing of real value, but there were a few things that were interesting. Old trinkets, photo slides, and a Black Widow spider that almost had me for a meal were pretty much all that was really of interest. I did run across this glass set I brought home.

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I just thought it was really cool. You might notice that one of the glasses does not match. For the other glasses, you might notice that the printing is misaligned on every single glass. That’s probably why my grandma bought this. It was probably a bargain bin set. Anyway, if you run across a glass that looks like the rest of these, please let me know. I would really like to have a complete set. Then we can drink, listen to disco records, and comb our afros.

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The Brain as a Computer Program

We’re trying to see if my grandma will adjust to assisted living, so we are taking her daily but not having her stay overnight yet. She eats and participates in activities, and we take her home after dinner. Today I had to drive my grandma to the assisted living home, because my dad had an appointment in the morning. Talking to her, I tried to figure out how she was processing our conversation. I think I figured it out the code her brain uses. I think it’s the same code inserted into all elderly people’s brains during checkups. Forgive my syntax. I haven’t written code in a long time.

while destination != arrived {
ask(select_question(4));
while answer != received { listen(response); }
respond();
erase(answer);
}

if tissues || napkins { grab_stuff(pocket); }

It’s Official. I Will Be Crazy.

Based on my grandparents, I am bound to end up crazy. I mean crazier than I currently am now. I’m not sure about a clinical definition, but when I am old, I will have no idea what is going on around me. My doctor will be chosen based upon the ability to prescribe the drugs I want to cure the ailments I think I have plaguing me. I will do my best to keep my mind sharp by playing Sudoku, but I will still end up thinking I am in Las Vegas all the time.

Actually, I think part of the reason why my grandparents have lost some of their mental abilities is their lack of social life. I have remaining, my grandfather on my mom’s side, and my grandmother on my dad’s side. Neither of them have any friends, and their social interactions are limited to family. Without the ability to socialize constantly our minds go to mush.

That is why I am proposing an Old Folks’ Dorm. It will help us keep up our social lives so our minds don’t deteriorate. We will all pool our money together and get a huge house. We will be able to afford a live in maid and nurse. It will be just like college dorms, but the marijuana we have will be legal for our cataracts.

When I Grow Up…

Lately I have been feeling run down with work. It makes me feel rather old. After a long day at work, I don’t want to do much. It made me start thinking about stories of my parents when they were my age and how they seemed a lot more fun than myself.

At this age, my parents and all their friends were just starting to get married. I’m not saying that I want to be married like my parents, but there is something they did for fun to all the newlyweds. Being people with little money, their honeymoons were spent in nice hotels in the area. They formed what they called The Honeymoon Committee. The Honeymoon Committee’s job was to keep the party going after the reception.

Sometimes they would wait until the end of the wedding reception and kidnap the bride. They would take the bride to someone’s house and watch television until the groom found them. Bear in mind, this was before cell phones. It was an adventure. This went on up until ten years ago, when the last of them finally tied the knot.

Other times they would find out where the couple was staying, have two committee members pretend to be the couple and check into the room. Then everyone else would sneak in to the room. By the time the real couple arrived, a new person would be at the front desk to give them keys, leaving them unsuspecting. Sometimes they all hid in the bathroom to surprise the couple. Other times they made themselves at home with the mini bar and the television. One time I recall them saying there was a Rocky marathon on television that night, and they all fell asleep watching the Italian Stallion throw punches.

The fun didn’t stop after weddings. My dad told me when he had just moved into his new home with my mom, their friends decided in the middle of the night that they wanted to see the new house. They got to the house, climbed in through a window, but the layout of the house didn’t allow them to get passed a locked door. They stood around for a while and decided to flush the toilet to wake my parents up. After my dad calmed down and put some pants on, they all had dessert.

Although it sounds like a lot of fun, I don’t really want to go kidnapping brides, tagging along on honeymoons, or breaking into my friends’ houses. Just hearing these stories makes me feel like I am not living life to the fullest. I think I need to pick up another hobby or learn a new skill. I think you should all encourage me to do that, or I may be breaking into your house for a late night snack.