The groomsmen have booked their flights, and we’re all seated next to each other in what will be called the “We think we’re going to Vegas” section. Do they still offer free alcoholic beverages on international flights? Does Canada really count as an international flight? That’s right! We’re going to Canada, Vancouver to be more specific. Apparently it’s quite the hot spot for soon-to-be-hitched people to celebrate their final days of freedom.
We should rent a yacht and have a monkey knife fight. Those are legal in Canada, right?
Friday I got to meet up with all my groomsmen for dinner. The plan was to discuss what we’re doing for my bachelor party, but it was also an excuse just to grab some food and beers. It’s a good thing we didn’t make this a critical meeting for deciding what to do for the party, because we got nothing done. So far they’ve decided to either to ride bikes with baskets and streamers on the handles or kill a hooker. Uh, yeah.
Why can’t we do both?
I’m off to Vegas later today, where what happens there stays there…unless you need a prescription to get rid of it. We’re doing the bachelor party thing for my buddy, and it should be a blast. I think everything is fair game as long as I don’t get married. How mad would Michelle be after waiting almost six years if I just went and married an escort named Heather Graham?
In order to distract Michelle’s mind from the obvious debauchery I will be participating in, I told her she can go look at rings this weekend. Yup. There must be a million questions racing through your heads right now. Does this mean-? When will you-? Relax, people. It’s going to happen sometime, and I’m finally realizing it’s not a big deal until people say something. There’s good news in all this, but I’ll let Michelle share that sometime. It’s pretty funny…to me anyway. So while she’s looking at shiny things, thinking I’m in Napa Valley, I will be shoulder deep in strippers.
Back to the matter at hand. If you didn’t get the reference to the Heather Graham escort or Napa Valley, you need to see The Hangover, which I am calling this generation’s Porky’s. Watch that film and you’ll know what our weekend will be like, except with a Panda and not a Tiger.
Peace out, suckers!
Hello, there. My name is Matt, but on this website I just refer to myself as m@. I love all things Star Wars, food, beer, and music, especially The Beatles. I'm one who likes to be noticed and will sometimes say or do inappropriate things to get your attention. I'm perfectly complimented by my online and real life partner