Minutes before our wedding ceremony the pastor said to me, “You’re the most calm groom I’ve ever seen.”
I looked at him and without hesitation said, “When you’re beat, you’re beat.”
This was three years ago. Happy anniversary to the greatest wife and mom!
Today marks two years since I perfected my hypnotism technique and married Michelle. Things really haven’t changed in our house very much. We’re still the same as always.
Me: Happy anniversary!
Michelle: Happy anniversary!
Me: Were we supposed to get each other anything? I didn’t get you anything.
Michelle: Oh. I didn’t get you anything either.
Me: Oh, wait! I did get you something. I got you pregnant!
What can I say? I’m a giver.