Shark Week is here! The shows always talk about sharks using instinct for survival. Top predators are always fascinating, already born with all the tools necessary to hunt. I used to wonder why humans are so lacking in instincts like this. Why do you have to teach them everything? How come they’re not hard-wired from birth to do anything? I found out this weekend that the females of the human species definitely have some of these killer instincts.
It’s no secret that Michelle and I have been looking at rings. I even told my parents, because they know a heck of a lot more about diamonds *cough*cubic zirconia*cough* than I do. Still after a trip to the jewelry district Downtown, I came home to ask my parents some questions. My mom asked, “Can I wear my dress that Mike wouldn’t let me wear to his wedding?”
Hold up for a moment! We’re not getting married! We’re getting a ring! We haven’t even gotten it yet! What makes you think you can start planning your attire for a wedding?
Just so we’re clear that it’s not mothers only, let’s take a look at Michelle. She has just recently stepped down from her full time position as and editor. She is a freelance writer. (Hire her to ease the strain on my wallet.) I bought her a Moleskine notebook for her to write down all her ideas for writing pieces. Instead it is filled with sketches of wedding dresses, decorations, and notes about things she wants at her wedding. I believe I even saw the word “fun” written in there.
Behold the apex predator! Like sharks that are thrown into a frenzy with a single drop of water, females of the human species are thrown into the same frenzy at the sight or even mention of a ring. I’m pretty much doomed, but I take solace in knowing about my demise in advance. I’m going to have a fun wedding and my mom will be wearing some dress that my brother already vetoed for his own wedding.