Michelle came out to the car and I was already standing there, rubbing my chest and wincing in pain. (That’s another story. I have a chest. Apparently my torso has been screwed on upside down for 25+ years.)
Michelle: “What happened?”
Me: “Your gate attacked me.”
Michelle (confused): “How did that happen?”
Me: “Your gate swings open.”
Michelle: “It’s always swung open.”
Me (realizing no matter how I explain it, I am just an idiot): “Your gate attacked me. I’m suing your and your family for all you’re worth!”
I have a really bad bruise on my sternum now, a reminder that I am an idiot. Still I take solace in knowing that birds of a feather flock together.
Michelle (leaving the bar by Pink’s): Let’s go to Pink’s!
*Everyone dismisses her, because we don’t want to wait in line.*
Kayne (walking by a car with two dogs in it): Look at those dogs. I want a dog!
Michelle: Me too!
Kayne: Really, what kind of dog?
Michelle: Pink’s hot dog!
*silent stares of confusion and disbelief*
Hello, there. My name is Matt, but on this website I just refer to myself as m@. I love all things Star Wars, food, beer, and music, especially The Beatles. I'm one who likes to be noticed and will sometimes say or do inappropriate things to get your attention. I'm perfectly complimented by my online and real life partner
hahah. proving again that you two are the perfect match.