Pain Worse Than Child Birth?

Girls never understand how painful it is to get hit in the crotch. To give you an example of how bad the pain is, if you asked a guy whether he would rather get hit in the face or the crotch with a baseball thrown from thirty feet away, most guys would answer the face is the better option.

The sensation of pain is so sharp and intense, and it does not stay located in the region of the crotch. Standing is impossible after a solid hit. Your limbs go numb and your body just collapses under its own weight. Your lungs tighten up and breathing becomes very difficult as your heart rate skyrockets. Your stomach cramps up as if you’ve just done hundreds of situps. I haven’t figured out the reason for this part, but your mouth goes completely dry too, like waking up from a morning of heavy drinking. Tears streaming down the face and vomiting often accompany harder hits to the crotch.

Fortunately, for the sake of the science of sports, some idiot decided to take a hit from a tennis ball in his special area for everyone to see. They get scientific with the explanation, but in the end the host just laughs at the dude.

I understand that part of the reason no sympathy is given is because guys laugh at each other when it happens. I recall playing a game of Cranium, and my roommate got mad at me for my poor performance. He took the ball of clay that came with the game and hurled it at my crotch, while sitting right next to me. I just tipped over on my side and tears began pouring out of my eyes. The whole time both my roommate and I were laughing. The girls stared at us, quite confused.

Just because the two of user were laughing doesn’t mean it hurts any less. We just know the pain isn’t normally going to result in death or the loss of a testicle. We laugh because we understand. Ladies, cut us a break. It does truly hurt. We don’t fake it. So do us a favor and keep the blows to the crotch to the good kind.